Is it normal for your partner to dance with other people?
How many times have you fallen in love on the dance floor? I’ve fallen in love hundreds of times. With the music, with a certain moment, with an amazing dance.
I’ve felt giddy with gratitude, joy, love, happiness, fun, and laughter in thousands of moments with hundreds of different people on the dance floor.
What does dancing mean to you?
Each dance is unique. For me, dancing is as normal as walking, breathing, or eating. If someone makes me an amazing meal I will be just as happy as I would be if I have an amazing dance with someone. The thing is I know that whilst I may be in love with a moment in time, a song, a step, a pause or a dance connection, I am not in love with the person I am dancing with. Unless of course, that person is also my romantic partner.
The key thing to remember is that whilst you may have an amazing dance connection with someone on the dance floor, that does not mean you have any of the other hundreds of ingredients needed to make a relationship. If you are in a relationship and have found someone who has all of the ingredients you are looking for, there is no chance you are going to be swayed away from the love you have for your partner by someone with some fancy footwork and good connection.
Dancing Habit
Maintaining a ‘dancing habit’ and a relationship off the dance floor provides you and your partner another space to explore truly open and trusting communication. I have seen the jealousy bug take hold in a myriad of different circumstances between partners, on and off the dance floor. Maybe you recognise yourself in some of these?
1) The partner who won’t let their romantic partner go out dancing. In this situation, the partner is usually a non-dancer. They have a very warped and sexualised version of dancing in their minds, and they cannot bear the thought of their partner going out dancing without them.
Initially having a dancing partner may be confronting to some, and require some open communication, and probably some hands on introduction to the dance world to give the partner some realistic insight into the dance scene.
However, if communication, and openness from both sides doesn’t lead to a compromise, I would be red flagging this partner as extremely controlling. For many people dancing is a form of self-love and therapy, having a partner who doesn’t trust you on the dancefloor, probably means they don’t trust you in general.
Are you that guy/ girl who is stopping your partner from social dancing?
It is normal to have some insecurities at first, but if you really see value in your relationship why not try and overcome the intimidation by learning a little of the dancing world. You could take some private classes and learn the basic steps to have a dance with your partner. You could attend a social night just to see what it’s actually like. Or why not take some group classes with your partner and get an insight into the community?
2) ‘The controlling dance couple’ These two are different from the ‘very in love dance couple’. If you happen to share the same passion for dance with your romantic partner you are very lucky. This doesn’t mean that both of you are free from the jealousy monster, and dance insecurities.
If you are the partnership who ‘does not allow’ your partner to dance with others at social dance events there is also some work to be done. Obviously, it’s normal that dancing couples want to dance with each other during social nights. However, there is a difference between choosing to dance together a lot, and not feeling comfortable dancing with others for fear of making your partner jealous.
Trust your partner
Just because your partner may really enjoy dancing with other people on the social dance floor, doesn’t mean he/she enjoys dancing with you less. The connection and love you feel when dancing with your romantic partner can’t be replicated with anyone else. If your partner really feels and understands this there is no reason to feel insecure about your partner dancing with others.
Variety is the spice of life; In food, in adventures and in dances. Having different dances with a wide variety of people will increase your technical skill as well as allowing you to have fun and experiment with different ways of dancing with each person.
Allowing your partner to have a varied and carefree dance experience is vital for your relationship and dance connection.
If you find yourself feeling insecure about your partner’s dancing habit remember that it is 100% normal for your partner to dance with other people. Just as communication, trust and respect are vital keys to any relationship, they are also the foundations of any social dance. See dancing as an ally to your relationship and use it to make it stronger.
~ Genevieve Rogan for Connection Studios ~